It is official. I am outdated. How do I know? My daughter told me so.
She has just graduated from high school. Her wings are itching to take their first major flight away from me. The apron strings have turned into bungee cords and are being stretched to capacity. These cords quiver each time she leaves the house. The vibration is so strong that I never know how long they will last without snapping and recoiling back to hit each of us in the gut.
I guess this is par for the course though; the mother-daughter dynamic at the crux of being 18. The Mother, feeling somewhat lost and some despair at how her world will be when the youngest is off to school. The Daughter, wanting that much needed sense of autonomy, and to be away from her Mom. Far away.
I use the word "autonomy" instead of the word "independent" because there is no way either of my daughters are, or can be, independent while in college. As much as they would like to think they are adults and can take of themselves, they can't. It isn't because they don't have the drive or the desire, they lack critical experience that only the world can give them. Okay...I am being way too optomistic here. They also lack the financial means to care for themselves. With gas just under $4.00 a gallon, they can barely afford to keep their tanks full.
I have tried to talk with my youngest about how expensive living is. And we're not talking about living at the same standards she has here at home but living on her own. She doesn't know what I am talking about. We have had numerous conversations about what the world holds for her and what the world expects back. During the last discussion we had about college and the economy she told me I was "outdated."
Hmmm. "What do you mean by outdated?" I asked her. She replied "It has been a long time since you have been in college. You don't know what it is like now. Things have changed."
It is true, I haven't been in school since 1984. I typed my thesis papers on an electric typewriter. There was no such thing as an internet or word processing. But I was in school after the concept of zero was formulated by the Mayans! In 1984 we had books, tapes, videos, movies and a gas car. Hell, we even had MTV. The conversation was almost comical. But I didn't laugh at her because she was being sincere. I was amazed though that she thinks I am clueless about all things having to do with life since 1984.
I am outdated.