Bitch Rant Rave

Equality in loving soul mates and life partners.

"How do I love thee?" It seems this has become a loaded question in today's world.  Loving someone, finding a soulmate, living and loving all that life has to offer, is a large  part of the human experience. Why, in the 21st century, does this seem like a near impossibility? Why is it wrong in the eyes of so many to "love the one you're with?" Why do those same people feel justified in telling others how to live their lives, how to seek fulfillment, and how to love?

Finding the mate of your dreams is difficult at best. Sifting through all the possibilities can, and often is, a drain on the soul. The euphoric highs of meeting someone who may be the one to sweep you right off your feet, or at the low point let you fall on your ass, are what memories are made of. The first time you make love to a partner, the excitement of learning their body intimately, it's difficult to find anything more pleasurable to a person. With enough experience, and not just sexual experience but life experience, one develops a sense of who may or may not be a real candidate for a life partner.

Hopefully, intimacy grows and develops and links us to our real soul mate, the one to live and love, share, and be with.

In today's America, a stigma has been placed on relationships that some consider outside the realms of "normal" human sexuality and true intimate love. In today's society, it can seem a near impossibility to search for true love much less know what to do with it if is found. Society has made it difficult to express how one feels because, for many, same sex relationships are a serious no no. Why? Why is it wrong to want what heterosexual couples have in a relationship? Why is it wrong to want love, intimacy, a life partner? Why is it wrong to want to raise a family in a same sex couple? Why in hell are people so intimidated by that? Are they so insecure in their own relationships?

Many people express a "love one another as you want to be loved" attitude until it comes to same sex relationships. Suddenly, they turn like a nest of vipers, striking out at what is perceived as a threat to their way of life. They try to intimidate via religion/faith that homosexuality is against the will of God. If it is wrong then why does God allow homosexuality? Does God allow the birth of human beings that He knows will be homosexual only to turn His back to them? If one is a true follower of Jesus (I am), doesn't one owe it to Him to follow one of his greatest commandments? If people want to use the faith card, they'd best recall that Jesus said we should love one another as we love ourselves.

Seeking love and fulfillment in a relationship should not rely upon having one person of each sex. Love and fulfillment, intimacy, and yes even sex, should be dependent upon being IN love with the one you're with regardless of gender. Life is too precarious to waste it searching for an intimacy that cannot be attained because one is searching in the wrong direction. Love the one you're with. Hopefully that one will be your soulmate, if not at that moment, then after the question "how do I love thee?" is finally answered. Good luck.

 ~Jane

Women over 50 like to have sex.

Yes.  I typed it.  I have put "it" out there.  If you are a mother of a daughter who is over 50, a daughter of a mother over 50 or a spouse/partner/friend of a woman over 50 and you don't like thinking about that 50 something woman in your life liking sex, read no further.

But if you are okay with it, read on.

I am over 50.  This year has marked quite a few "firsts" for me.  Some I don't mind talking about and some, quite frankly, are only my business.  But having said that, I will share that I experienced my first ever pedicure this past week.  I sat next to one of my dearest friends on the planet.  We talked, laughed and enjoyed each other while two very sweet 20 somethings painted our toes.  Our conversations varied.  We talked about our kids, our partners and spouses.  We talked about life, love and things that make us happy.  We shared these conversations with the lovely 20 somethings. 

But when we started talking about sex (yes, women over 50 like to talk about sex, too) the 20 somethings ears perked up.  They gazed at us in wonderment.  Their eyes glossed over as they asked us questions about relationships that we have with men.  My friend is happily married.  I am no longer.  My pedicurist told me that her mother, also over 50, has a boyfriend that she doesn't like.  We talked a little about that.  She relayed that the boyfriend was nice to her Mom, that he treated her well but that she just didn't understand why her Mom needed a boyfriend.

I was amazed that she was amazed.

I told her that I like being with my partner; that I like sleeping next to someone I care about and love.  But then I dropped the bombshell - I boldly stated that I like to have sex and that maybe her Mom does too.

I watched the color run from her cheeks.  

She thought about what I said and then replied "You know, you may be right. Maybe my Mom likes to have sex."

And maybe that is the whole reason she didn't like her Mom's boyfriend.  Somewhere deep in the back of her mind she had her Mom up on a virginal pedestal. 

I am going to enjoy my 50's.